Navigate other people's opinions when career planning

Alex Yomare from Pixabay

By Sarah Hinds, Counsellor

This insight is part of our career wellbeing series.

When exploring career options, it’s not uncommon to find that other people have a lot to say about which jobs you should aim for and how quickly you should progress in your career.

Studies show that around half of students’ career choices are influenced by their parents. Other people’s ideas can sometimes be helpful, but they can also make you feel pressured.

Notice where the pressure is coming from and how it is affecting you

It can be useful to notice whether your career decisions are being affected by those around you.

• Do parents or other family members have particular ideas about what kind of careers offer success, wealth, or status?
• Are there expectations in your subject area to pursue a particular route and within a certain timescale?
• Are you feeling pressure from people telling you it’s hard to find a job or that the competition is impossibly high for the roles you’re aiming for?
• Are there financial pressures to find a job quickly?
• Are you putting pressure on yourself to juggle different expectations?

Step 1 – notice what the pressures are and how you are feeling about them

It can be helpful to draw a mind map, diagram, or list of the different pressures you are feeling and note down how you feel about them.

If you feel people are making judgments about your decisions, it can be useful to write these down too. This can help you decide whether you agree with them and identify whether you have been internalising others’ opinions. Some influences might feel inspiring or motivating while others might result in fear, confusion, or overwhelm.

If the pressure feels too much, it’s okay to ask for help and talk it through with a friend, family member or university support services.

Step 2 – notice the differences between the pressures

Take a look at the different opinions and decide how important they are to you, and whether your values and the lifestyle you want are in the mix. For example, you might realistically need to get some kind of job quite soon for financial reasons but may not want to join the family business.

You can split these into realities you may need to accept, and those which you have some choice in or power over.

Step 3 – decide what to do about the pressures

You might find that you need to respond to the pressures, for example by changing the way you talk to yourself. Ask yourself if you are reinforcing others’ judgments or expectations by repeating them to yourself. Experiment with talking with yourself in a more compassionate way.

A conversation may be needed with a friend or family member. Sometimes this can clear up assumptions you have about what they are expecting of you. It can also give you a chance to talk to them about what you need and want for your future.

If you’re feeling confused it can be useful to draw a picture or write about your dream job. It doesn’t have to be realistic; it could be anything from a CEO to a trapeze artist. If you let yourself be creative, you can then pull back towards realistic possibilities rather than feeling pressured by other people’s expectations of you.

Remember that you are not alone when it comes to careers decisions. It’s ok to feel unsure and to take time to think things through. Check out our web resources on choosing your career or book an appointment to talk to a careers adviser.

First published February 2021, updated October 2025